Hmmm, thought today I'd try to
start this up again. But what to write about!? Lately, I've been in a rut. It's
isn't good and it isn't bad; it just is. It's a feeling of being stuck. Wanting
to do things that you aren't doing. Feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the
same time. It's a rut. And I know it will pass. And I know I just need to keep
putting one foot in front of the other.
A couple days ago I opened to the
next chapter in a book of poems I'm reading. It was the perfect poem and
exactly what I needed. It was called Zero Circle by Rumi.
Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace
to gather us up.
We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty.
If we say we can, we’re lying.
If we say No, we don’t see it,
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window onto spirit.
So let us rather not be sure of anything,
Beside ourselves, and only that, so
Miraculous beings come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
We shall be saying finally,
With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,
We shall be a mighty kindness.
Since I last wrote here, the most
amazing human being came into my life. His name is Alec. He's the one that gave
me the poetry book I mentioned. When I look in his eyes I see his soul. And it
looks a lot like mine. And it's beautiful.
One foot in front of the other...
Love always,
Sarah